The decision to help an aging adult move out of a current home is a complex one -- both emotionally and practically. Above all, you want the person to be safe and well. How can you all feel more confident about whether circumstances suggest that your loved one should no longer be living alone? Although every situation is different, looking at the following 11 signs will give you valuable information to help make the decision. 1. Big-picture signs it might be time for assisted livingKeep the big red flags in mind. Certain situations make it more obvious that it's wise to start thinking about alternate living arrangements. Look for:
2. Up-close signs it might be time for assisted livingGive your loved one a big hug. Clues aren't always visible from a distance; especially when you don't see the person every day, you might learn more through touch. Look for:
3. Social signs it might be time for assisted livingThink realistically about the person's social connections. Social circles tend to shrink with age, which can have health and safety implications. Look for:
4. Money signs it might be time for assisted livingRiffle through the mail. Your loved one's mail can offer an often-overlooked clue to how he or she is managing money, a common early warning sign of cognitive trouble. Look for:
5. Driving signs it might be time for assisted livingTake a drive -- with your loved one behind the wheel, if he or she is still driving. Often, the ability to drive is practically a requirement for living independently in our culture (or the arrangement of alternate transportation options). Look for:
6. Kitchen signs it might be signs for assisted livingGo through the kitchen, from fridge to cupboards to oven. Because people spend so much time in this room, you can learn a lot. Look for:
7. Around-the-house signs it might be time for assisted livingLook around the living areas. Sometimes the most obvious sign is hard to see because we become so used to it. Look for:
8. Pet-care and plant-care signs it might be time for assisted livingBe sure to check out how the other living things are faring. An ability to take care of pets and plants goes along with self-care. Look for:
9. Home-maintenance signs it might be time for assisted livingWalk around the yard. Yard maintenance -- or lack of it -- can yield clues that your loved one isn't faring as well at home alone anymore. Look for:
10. Get help looking for signs it might be time for assisted livingGet the input of others who know your loved one in order to collect a fuller picture of reality. Gently probing about what others think isn't nosy; you're being loving, concerned, and proactive. Look for:
11. Caregivers' signs it might be time for assisted livingFinally, realize that some of the information you collect is intangible -- it has to do with feelings and emotions, and the stress levels of everyone involved. Look for:
If your loved one has a full life, a close neighborhood and community connections, and seems to be thriving, it's worth exploring as many in-home care options as possible before raising stress levels by pressing a move from a beloved home.
If, on the other hand, your loved one is showing signs that living alone is a strain, it may be time for a talk. Broach the subject of where to live in a neutral way and you may find that your loved one harbors the same fears for current and future safety and security that you do. Find out what your loved one fears most about moving and about staying before launching into your own worries and what you think ought to be done.
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